Valentine’s Day as parents is a whole different ballgame. The fancy dinners, quiet evenings, and surprise gifts? Yeah, those don’t exactly fit in between nappy changes and bedtime battles. Over the years, though, my wife and I have figured out ways to make the day special—not just for us, but for the kids too. Here are five things that work for us. Hopefully, they’ll help you too.

1. Valentine’s Week

Trying to cram everything into one day can sometimes feel overwhelming. So we decided to spread it out and try a Valentine’s week instead. Each day, we would do something small for each other. Writing a simple “I love you” note and leaving it on the kitchen table to be seen in the morning. Or picking up your partner’s favourite ice cream (anything Ben & Jerry’s) on the way home from work.

Doing this took the pressure off trying to “nail” Valentine’s Day. Instead, it became about celebrating the little gestures that show you care.

2. Try to Get the Kids to Bed Early

Let’s be honest, getting the kids to bed early can feel impossible depending on their mood. But if you manage it (and it’s still dark outside!), we found cooking a meal together worked wonders. It gave us time to wind down, talk, and enjoy a quiet moment. A glass of wine doesn’t hurt either. Of course, if you’re anything like us, you’ll probably still end up talking about the kids all evening.

Have a backup plan too which we learnt the hard way. If bedtime drains all your energy and cooking feels like a chore, the M&S dine-in-for-two is a lifesaver. It’s convenient, feels like a treat, lets you enjoy a meal while watching TV, and saves you from spending a fortune on dining out.

3. We Involve the Kids

Through a few failed attempts over the years we’ve learnt that trying to make Valentine’s Day a kid-free, romantic event isn’t particularly realistic. So instead we decided to get the kids involved. This worked much better than we envisioned as they love helping me surprise their mum. Simple things like drawing her a bath with way too many bubbles, making her a card, or “helping” me with breakfast (help being a loose term here).

This way everyone wins. Our kids enjoy being part of the fun, and my wife gets a little extra love and attention. Plus, it’s a chance to teach the kids what it looks like to show appreciation for someone.

4. We Call in Reinforcements When We Can

We’re lucky enough to have grandparents close by, but let me tell you—it often takes a good bit of pleading (and the occasional bribe) to get them on board for babysitting duty 😉

When it does happens, we always try and make the most of it. Doing things that before we had kids we wouldn’t think twice about. Eating out at a restaurant, or going to the cinema or dare I say both. On special occasions, we even go full-on “date mode” with dessert and drinks. I know we are wild.

Some years we mix it up and go out during the day for lunch and maybe a walk instead. As all parents will know that staying awake past 10pm isn’t always easy. Either way, we have found just a couple of hours away reminds us what it was like before parenthood and a chance to recharge and reconnect.

5. We Book Something to Look Forward To

One of our favourite things to do is plan something completely different for later in the year. Over the years, we’ve booked a concert, a couples’ spa day, and a night away together (which, again, required some sweet-talking of the grandparents).

It’s a great way to add excitement to the year ahead. It also takes the pressure off trying to find the perfect Valentine’s Day gift. And most importantly, it gives us something to look forward to together long after the day has passed.

Our Final Thoughts

Valentine’s Day with kids isn’t the same as it used to be, and that’s okay. These days, it’s less about grand gestures and more about meaningful moments. Whether it’s picking up their favourite ice cream, sharing a quiet meal at home, or getting the kids involved in the fun, you can still make it special. It might be different, but different can be good.