Becoming a parent changes everything, and for dads, finding your role while your partner breastfeeds can be challenging. As a husband of a breastfeeding mother, I quickly learned how to support my wife through this journey. From helping during night feeds to taking on household tasks, I discovered that my involvement wasn’t just about physical help—it was about offering emotional support and empathy. Here are five key things I learned as a husband during our breastfeeding journey.

1. Finding My Role During Night Feeds

When our daughter was born, my wife decided to breastfeed, and I made a conscious effort to support her. Nights were the hardest. We were both exhausted, and the cold winter made those long nights feel endless.

I took responsibility for being present during night feeds. I offered quiet moral support, held her hand, or chatted to take her mind off the stress. Despite our exhaustion, those moments of connection—especially when we laughed through the delirium—helped us survive the early months.

2. Supporting Her Through the Pain

We didn’t fully anticipate the pain my wife experienced during breastfeeding. In the early days, she winced every time our daughter latched. Though I couldn’t physically feel the discomfort, I did everything I could to support her.

We discussed whether we should continue breastfeeding. Despite the challenges, my wife’s commitment remained strong. While I didn’t always agree with everything, I respected her decision to keep going.

3. Small Acts of Support: The Nipple Cream Chronicles

Nipple cream became a lifesaver for my wife. I kept it everywhere—on the bedside table, in the diaper bag, and even at my desk. That tube of relief became our secret weapon.

It might seem small, but it made a huge difference in easing her discomfort. I joked that she loved the cream more than me, and honestly, I was fine with that. It was a simple gesture that meant a lot.

4. Picking Up the Slack Around the House

Breastfeeding isn’t just about feeding; it’s a full-time job that takes a toll physically and emotionally. Between constant feeds, sore nipples, and sleepless nights, my wife had her hands full. That’s when I stepped up.

I took on household chores—cooking, cleaning, and anything else that needed doing. These weren’t grand gestures, but they made a difference. I could tell they helped reduce her stress and made her feel supported.

5. Embracing My Bond with Our Daughter

As a dad, I initially feared that not breastfeeding would create a gap in my bond with our daughter. Since breastfeeding felt so intimate, I worried I’d miss out. However, I soon realized that my bond with her came from other moments.

Holding her while my wife rested, soothing her cries, and being present became the moments that formed our connection. Breastfeeding may have been my wife’s journey, but it became a shared experience. My role in supporting her was just as meaningful.

Our Final Thoughts

Breastfeeding is a deeply intimate act, and it’s natural for dads to feel left out at times. But I learned that my support—whether through late-night feeds, helping around the house, or being emotionally present—was just as important. As a husband, my responsibility was to show up, empathise, and actively contribute. By doing so, I realised that I wasn’t on the sidelines; I was an essential part of the breastfeeding journey.